Destiny v Free Will

June 22, 2020


Some people will say that we have complete free will, that we have complete control over our actions. Yet the biggest events which shape our lives are decided before we even arrive here on the planet: -  


where we are born, our parents, our health, which school we go too, the peer groups we are exposed too, the faith or belief system of our place of birth, our natural talents and abilities. Most of the things that make us who we are as individuals and which give us the tools with which to navigate through life are given to us. They are gifts. Yet we tend to judge others on how they turn out, ignoring what they have experienced that made them that way.


You have to ask yourself ‘does a child deserve to die of cancer at 7?’ ‘Does a boy deserve to get knocked off his bike and be brain damaged at 15?’ ‘Do 96 people deserve to die in a football ground disaster?’ ‘Do millions of children deserve to starve to death every year?’ ‘Does someone deserve to be king?’ ‘Does someone deserve to win the lottery?’ ‘Does someone deserve to be all the time greatest Olympian of all time?’


It is not about what someone deserves, but about that which currently serves their highest evolutionary purpose at that moment in time. In a world of polarity that does not mean the nicest, funnest, easiest things but those which offer us the greatest opportunity for growth as an evolving spirit.


There are things we have to come here to experience in order to expand and these include the dark, nasty, and horrible things. These are things we would never consciously choose to experience so they are things which are set up to happen along the way. As spirits we know we cannot truly be hurt but we also know that when we are in a physical body pain feels completely real, and it has too otherwise it wouldn't work. 


We may have blue prints, and paths our lives are set to follow, yet we all used our free will to choose to participate in those lives. Destiny offers us our life, free will allows us the choice to accept it. We have free will but sometimes that means offering over our destiny to a higher power, a higher intelligence, and trusting that it will all work out in the end to serve us, no matter how perilous it appears to be on the surface.


From my own personal experience I was born with a birth defect to my genitalia which meant my left testicle was stuck between my groin and scrotum. This caused my flaccid penis to shrivel and look deformed, and led to chronic pain in the testicle. Because of this during my teenage years I became suicidal, I was full of darkness and full of hatred. I was disgusted with how I looked and believed I was a freak who would never be loved by anyone. I felt like a complete failure, a loser who couldn’t even get this right, I blamed myself for a condition that I was born with. Growing up as a young male I never felt like a proper man, I always felt like a fraud, a hideous and disgusting creature, one who was not worthy of even being here.


Due to the extremely personal nature of my deformity I kept it all to myself and guarded my shameful secret with my life. This unhealthy bottling up of my emotions led to an explosion of anger and violence that engulfed my life. At this time, I was under the complete control of The Voice of Darkness, I wanted to hurt others and make them pay. I wanted to inflict my misery on others so they could feel my pain.


During these years 12-24 I became a monster, a demon, a lost soul, yet had it not been for this immense self-hatred and pain then this book and words that you are now reading could never have existed. It was through exploring the dark side of life I came to find true light and true love. I came to realise destiny had shaped my life and led me in a direction I had hated but ended up coming to love. 


During the time that I went through these experiences they were the last thing I wanted, I would have done anything to make them go away. Yet now I look back and see they were my destiny, and that without them I could not be who I am today. So now I look back at those times which I hated so much with a fondness and gratitude, I understand there was a plan all along, that these things were precious gifts. It is my belief that with the return of the sun those who have experience the greatest levels of darkness will see the same thing and will realise their suffering had not be in vain.


During the summer of 2015 I went through a period of great self-doubt and began to ask ‘why is it I have found out what I have?’ ‘Why was I chosen to deliver this message?’ It was just a few short moments later that life answered this question for me in the most awesome of ways: -  I started channel surfing the TV and noticed ‘The Matrix Reloaded’ was on (I had watched this film maybe twice in the distant past, well before my awakening) and so I started watching when suddenly this dialogue leapt out at me: -



The Keymaker: Only the One can open the door. And only during that window can that door be opened.



Niobe: How do you know all this?



The Keymaker: I know because I must know. It is my purpose. It is the reason I am here. The same reason we are all here.



The Keymaker: If one fails, all fail.



Suddenly I realised I knew because this is what I was born to do here at this time, it was my purpose, and shortly after the character Morpheus came out with this: -



Morpheus: All of our lives we have fought this war. Tonight I believe we can end it. Tonight is not an accident. There are no accidents. We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance when I see 3 objectives, 3 captains, 3 ships. I do not see coincidence, I see providence, I see purpose. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our destiny. I believe this night holds for each and every one of us the very meaning of our lives.



It is now time to realise this is our destiny, our purpose, our fate, it is what we came here for. This night

holds for each of us the very purpose of why we came here, we came here to change the world by

changing ourselves, we came to transmute the darkness into light. When I look at you I see the one who

will become One.



Like Niobe you may say: -



Morpheus: What is it, Niobe?


Niobe: I can't help it, Morpheus, I can't help thinking - what if you're wrong. What if all this - the

prophecy, everything - is bullshit.


Morpheus: Then tomorrow we may all be dead, but how would that be different from any other day? This is a war, and we are soldiers. Death can come for us at any time, in any place.


Axel: Incoming. Incoming! Incoming!.


Morpheus: Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if the prophecy is true? What if tomorrow the war could be over. Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for?




Now is the time to dine with destiny and fulfil the prophecy, it is time to end the war, but not with force, but with love, and a new found cause. The strongest force is the one that is harnessed for good, the force of love is far mightier than the force of fear, peace will always triumph over war, and this is because this is who you really are. Yet the only way that you can know what you are, is to have been what you are not. I keep repeating these simple concepts for a good reason, they are the foundations of the new philosophy, and a return of ancient wisdom.


Peace cannot be given but must be chosen, and the only way you can have a choice is if there is also the choice of the opposite. Then you can say ‘I do not like war it must be stopped, I will no longer support it’ and the wars will end, and you will have your peace. If peace was all there was, it might as well be war because it would mean nothing, peace would just be normal and therefore cease to mean anything.


If everyone on the planet was 5ft ’7 you would not have heard of the term height, tall, short etc because it would have no context. if everyone could sing like Adele there would be no Adele, if everyone could play football like Lionel Messi you would never have heard of Lionel Messi. 


The true war is not going on in the outside world like we think it is, the physical world is just a reflection of our own inner states of being, and collectively we manifest the world as we know it. The true battle we must overcome is our own inner demon, we cannot kill it with force, it must be tamed by the power of love. Love heals the darkness; it is does not destroy it. Like a body heals its broken limbs, when we are ready the darkness will be healed by the light. This can only happen when we acknowledge its purpose; the darkness is as natural as a cat’s predatory instinct and is there for a perfectly good reason. 


The truth is those who many of us blame for all the strife and trouble in the world (“the ruling elites”) subconsciously desire more than anything for us to rise up and take our freedom. This is what they are here for, but as part of their role this is not just something that can be given, and in order to protect our free will it is something we must collectively choose. They are on our side but playing our opponent in order that we can even have a choice.


Freedom is utter joy and happiness, and it is something you would give up everything for, and that is why you did. Now is our time to take it back, they will resist but this is all part of The Game of Life. We are approaching the final hurdle in getting what is rightfully ours, we must not stumble now. Life is all about choices and we must make ours, by deciding what it is we desire, and then going for it.



From Charlies Monument by Blaine M. Yorgason




Before He sent his children to earth

Gave each of them

A very carefully selected package

Of problems,


He promised, smiling,

Are yours alone, No one

Else may have the blessings

These problems will bring you.

And only you

Have the special talents and abilities

That will be needed

To make these problems

Your servants.

Now go down to your birth

And to your forgetfulness, Know that

I love you beyond measure.

These problems that I give you

Are a symbol of that love.

These monuments you make of your life

With the help of your problems

Will be a symbol of your

Love for me.

Your Father.



I now have complete faith that my life is unfolding to a meticulous plan, one which I decided to partake in willingly, long before my arrival. I am here by natural design, born with a blueprint that is unfolding perfectly like the petals of a rose. It is not me that is directly governing my life, but I am an integral part of the process, by coming to understand why this plan has led us to a point of chaos and darkness, we can make peace with the universe.


I was watching the trailer to the Edward Snowden film and in it he said“I feel like I’m made to do this, and if I don’t it, I don’t know anyone else that can” and this is how I feel about my book and why in the end despite the nagging doubt that dogged me along the way I finished it and you are now reading it.


Can you believe it is your destiny to change the world? That if you don’t nobody else can? Good because it’s true, we need you to make a difference in a world of indifference, to care in a world that feels so uncaring.


Next let me shed light on one of the most seemingly unkind aspects of life, it is darkness personified. 




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